ARCHIVES

LOL SUCKS

A horrible phenomena is occurring. A practice so annoying and so painful to eyes and mind. A simple little code word that has made it’s way into emails, instant messaging, blogs, and forums. A word so small it wouldn’t seem to be a candidate for the deep hatred I have for it. This little three lettered code word that needs to die. I’m talking, of course, about the senseless little code for the much abused expression “Laughing at loud” and this code needs to die and die now!

It took me awhile to finally jump onto the internet super highway. It was 2001 and it seemed like I was the person on Earth who was not online. My thoughts were that it would take up too much of time and warp my mind. Actually I have learned more online than I had in school. So with that being said it took even more time until I started to email. My thoughts were “Hey, that’s what stamps are for!” Of course with the US Postal service raising the price of stamps every other day I thought “Why do I want to take out a loan to buy a stamp?” So I moved onto email. It was great. I could communicate with people who I didn’t want to talk to on the phone with (bill collectors, tech support, annoying people). No hassle no bull crap. A few minutes and it was over. It also helped stay in touch with family members more regularly than in the past and became a great way to stay in touch without getting a second mortgage to get a book of stamps. So, while I’m sending emails and receiving I noticed something that confused me. In an email I received was this little code word written through out the email. This weird little word that made no sense at all. Written after every other sentence was this code word “LOL”. LOL? What? What the hell is “LOL” I wondered. So I went to my much younger sister for help. She informed me that this little code word meant “Laughing out loud”. “Are you sure?” I asked. It doesn’t seem like that is what it was there for. I mean there was nothing to laugh at in the entire email. It didn’t take long for me to realize how much I hated “LOL” and how much I want “LOL” to die!!!

I can understand people abbreviating words when writing emails, IM, and forums. It makes most sense with IM. But if you are going to use these little codes words such as “LOL” be sure to use it correctly. No one uses “Laughing out loud” correctly and it drives me nuts! For one thing a joke only works in it’s delivery. Some will find it funny and some will not. Telling someone you are now laughing is irrelevant. I can take the smiley faces more than I can take “LOL!”

I will read a blog or get an email and it will say something like “So, I then dog the dog out and he crapped in the grass. LOL.” I’m sorry was that funny. Your dog crapped out in the grass. My dog craps in the grass and never do I find it funny. “ You know what really angers me? When someone cuts you off in traffic. LOL”. What the hell is so funny about that? You said it angers you. I just don’t see the humor here especially for the fact that when someone cut me off in traffic a chain of F-bombs shoot out of my mouth, not laughter! This is my biggest problem with “LOL”. The abuse of this stupid little code word. First, if you can’t use it correctly then don’t use it at all. Second, don’t use it period. “LOL” sucks.

I have explained why “LOL” must die but what drives me nuts the most is the overuse within one email or blog. I’m talking “LOL” after every sentence, sometimes twice in one sentence! When I see this I stop reading. I can’t take it! It makes my eyes explode out of my head. “LOL” this and “LOL” that. I had “LOL” for breakfast and then I had “LOL” for lunch but “LOL” I was at the store and “LOL” a man walked in front of me “LOL” and said hey Mike is that you “LOL” I said yes I am Mike “LOL” and he said oh “LOL” and then “LOL” I looked at him “LOL” and he says you dropped you wallet “LOL”, “LOL”, “LOL”, and I took it. Thanks God “LOL” he gave me my wallet back. The money for my life saving operation was is there “LOL”.

This senseless word must die and it must die now. Oh how I hate this word. The abuse must stop! I can’t even take a email, blog, forum, IM, seriously that has this painful little word in it. So i plead, I beg, I pray, for all whom use this vile word to please put it out of it’s misery. Let it rest in peace or burn in hell as it should. It is time for us to move on in a world where “LOL” doesn’t exist. Okay, well, I must be going I have a funeral to attend for a friend who was eaten by a bear. LOL.